LOVE

Valentines day. Don't worry, I had plenty of cute Valentines surrounding me today. I had this conversation with a boy (my favorite boy) this morning while I was getting him dressed. 

Me: Hey Diego, can I be your Valentine? 

Diego: *confused look on his face*

Me: Just say yes. Diga(say) si(yes).

Diego: siii

Me: Muy Bien(very good). So Diego, who is your Valentine? Diga chica! 

Diego: Chiiiica! 

So I might have had to tell him to say that he will be my valentine, but nonetheless my day was fulfilled. 

I have been thinking a lot about love lately. As I approach my last days here in Ecuador I cant even fathom leaving these kids and quite frankly I don't know how I am going to do it. I love them so much. I wake these kids up in the clothes that I put them to bed in. I am their caretaker. I am their mother figure. I have felt many "mother moments" as I like to call them while I've been here.

For example, one morning I took some of the older tres kids to school. When we arrived the kids ran in and immediately started playing with their friends. As I was saying goodbye and walking out the door one little boy got up and left his toys and came and ran up behind me so he could give me a hug goodbye. Melt my heart. 

One morning a little girl was crying uncontrollably for no reason. The workers were trying to console her but couldn't figure out why she was crying so much.  Finally I walk over to her and she reached for me so I pick her up and she rested her head on my shoulder and immediately  stopped crying.   I was the only person she wanted.     

 Another time a boy that was barely learning to walk stepped on a toy car and his leg went all kinds of crazy directions. We thought he had for sure broken it. The doctor came to the orphanage to look at it. I had to hold him down while he was screaming with pain as the doctor was moving his leg trying to figure out what was wrong. He was looking at me with the most helpless eyes just hoping that I would take away the pain. I couldn't hold back the tears myself as I knew there was nothing I could do besides hold his hand while he was having to go through 

so much pain. 

I'm the one awake at 3 am with newborns. So tired and exhausted but somebody needs to make them bottles and change their diaper when they don't yet know the difference between night and day. I am that somebody for them. 

 I like to think these experiences and many others show me what it will be like to me a mother someday. It is the best feeling in the world and I can not wait to be able to experience them with my own children. To share my unconditional love with them and to be able to feel it right back. 

It makes me think about my own mother. How grateful I am for her. And of course my father too. I wish I would have learned and trusted sooner that my mother always knows best. I am grateful for her wonderful example in my life. I hope to be as good of a mother as she is one day. I know she loves me and I love her. I couldn't imagine having to live my life without my mom. I have learned much from her and hope to teach the same things to my own kids. 

Then it makes me think about my loving Heavenly Father. Who's love is the greatest of all. I know how much he loves me, how much he loves you, and how much he loves these orphans. We are all his children. As sad as I am to leave these kids I know that they will be watched over. They are Gods children too and he doesn't want anything bad to happen to them. He placed them in the lives that they were given for a reason. One of those reasons I know to be true was to inspire and bless my life. They are miracle children. So brave and strong that they are able to live their earthly life without a family. I know I couldn't do it. 

I lover these kids, I love my parents and family, and I most of all love my Heavenly Father. I love my life and I love this opportunity I have been given. I am indeed very blessed. 

Happy Valentines day!! 

ps: Happy birthday to my sister Hannah! Hope you had a wonderful birthday! I love you.